We’re reposting this listicle from last year because, surprise, surprise, Ami feels just annoyed with her December birthday as ever.
Yes, my birthday is in December. No, I am not bitter at all. The moment I was born, the nurses put me in a Christmas stocking. But we’re Jewish! Then my mom dropped me in the snow. That’s just how it goes when you’re a December baby. After the jump, 31 reasons why it sucks to be born in December. Let this be a warning to all people planning to reproduce%u2014time your conception accordingly.
- Black Friday and Cyber Monday spending means no budget for your birthday present.
- Everyone is still recovering from all the Thanksgiving family drama.
- End of year reviews are stressful enough without having to worry about the birthday party you have to go to afterward.
- Holiday parties, holiday parties, and more holiday parties. When the f#@k am I supposed to schedule my karaoke birthday bash?
- Your best friend was too busy making figgy pudding to remember that you wanted a yellow birthday cake with buttercream frosting and purple roses. Is it really that much to ask?
- No, you don’t want a combo Hanukkah/b-day party. That’s lame.
- Your birthday present is dependent upon everyone else’s Christmas bonus … and we’re in a recession.
- Serving leftover latkes, turkey, or gingerbread at your birthday dinner is an insult.
- Two words: combo gift. Do not want it. I want two separate presents like the rest of the human race.
- The known world is out of town.
- Winter break means no birthday cupcakes in class.
- Your office is closed that week, so it means your boss can’t take you out for a free lunch on the company.
- You can’t take the day off on your birthday because you already have the day off.
- It’s snowing and the roads are too dangerous for guests to make it to your party. Or if they do arrive, they track mud into into your house.
- Your birthday dress must be worn with a down jacket and snow boots. Not sexy.
- Your crush is on vacation all month. So forget that.
- Happy birthday! You’re going to get a TSA full-body scan.
- Your birthday gift does not belong under the tree or in a stocking.
- Happy birthday! You’re stranded at the airport due to poor weather conditions.
- Christmas carolers at your door are not the same as having friends sing you “Happy Birthday.”
- Christ is more important than you.
- No one wants to hear about your birthday plans when they are worrying about alcoholic Aunt Ida coming to Christmas dinner.
- Birthday dinner? Forget it. Everyone already gained their allotted 10 pounds.
- Last-minute shopping really means no budget for your birthday gift.
- The gift table at your birthday party is full of re-gifts.
- Family time takes precedence over party time.
- ‘Tis the season, just not the right one for birthday cheer.
- You still can’t schedule your birthday because everyone has New Year’s plans.
- The end of the year is more important than your birthday.
- People everywhere are toasting, drinking champagne, partying — only it has nothing to do with you.
- As everyone is watching the ball drop, your heart drops. The month is over. The year is over. And your birthday sucked again.
